It’s not easy to get back the ex of your dreams when they were the ones that ended the relationship. But, getting an ex back is doubly hard if YOU were the one that decided to end the relationship. That is the situation that Amy found herself in after she broke the bad news to her boyfriend. And, here is what she had to do get her ex back.
Here is the story. Amy’s friend Eve, told her that her boyfriend Russ had slept with another girl. For some reason, Amy never second guessed the story. She never tried to confirm that the story was true, never took the time to think through her actions and instead, marched up to Russ, flung accusations at him and broke off their relationship.
Of course, a few days later, Amy heard that Eve lied. After making a frantic call to Eve asking why, she discovered it was all because Eve was interested in getting together with Russ. Now she had a huge dilemma. How was she going to get her Ex boyfriend back, without looking like a fool for breaking up with him for no reason in the first place. Getting an ex back was important to her, but she also wanted to save face.
Amy immediately called Russ and explained to him what happened. Unfortunately, Russ wasn’t interested in hearing her apology. She had accused him of cheating on her after all. That accusation had hurt him.
Getting an ex back took all of Amy’s efforts and a little help from the Magic of Making Up.
First Amy wrote Russ a long, hand written apology letter. She made sure to take full responsibility for her actions and reminded Russ of their long, happy relationship together. She made sure that he understood her jealous actions were driven out of a fear that she had lost him and in a moment of weakness forgot that by breaking up with him, she had done the same thing.
Then she mailed the letter. She made sure not to interrupt the arrival of the letter with texts or phone calls. The letter needed to come first. The emotion and force of the letter needed to stand alone and not be cluttered by unmeasured conversation. She knew that in order to get back your ex, you need to give them space and let them ponder the situation in their own thoughts.
When she did finally run into Russ later on that week, she acted as nice as she could without being overly pushy or apologetic. She had apologized in person and in a letter, that was enough. Now was the time to interact normally, to put the past behind, while recognizing fond memories when she had the chance, but not dwelling on what they once had.
Still, a few weeks later, she purchased tickets to a play that she knew Russ would like. She called Russ and asked him if he wanted to go as friends. Since Amy had stipulated, “just friends”, Russ didn’t feel any pressure to respond negatively. He did still get along with Amy, so what was the harm in hanging out to see a play. This small date started to build on the relationship that they once had and started new connections.
Over the course of the next few months Russ and Amy got back together. But, they only succeeded in their relationship by rebuilding the trust that Amy had destroyed. The main thing to remember is that building trust cannot happen over night. It takes time and commitment.
For more great advice check out TW Jacksons, "The Magic of Making Up". He has free videos and advice as well as great articles and insight into how to get back together with your ex...regardless of the situation. He's heard it all!
